me happy? gotta be a miracle
2002-08-21 at 8:15 p.m.
yesterday someone told me i was beautiful. it sounds like i'm being big-headed but i don't care. my special friends, the people i love, tell me i'm pretty but i don't listen. they're my special friends. they have to tell me that.
this person wasn't special to me. they just said it. it made me smile. i've been doing a lot of smiling lately.
like today. i smiled all day today.
firstly i had my hair dyed and i actually like it. now that really did make me smile.
then i came home and got a call off lellis and spent the rest of the day with her. we gossiped we caught up we bitched. we both laughed. a lot. i'm still smiling now.
we lay on the grass in the sun and chatted. about anything. about everything.
it was one of my favourite places to be. i'm gonna have to comprise a list. don't want to forget any.
i'm happy right now. my smile is genuine. i can honestly say it hasn't been for around 3 years. because i haven't been. how sad does that sound?
i haven't been happy for a lot of reasons but right now i am. i am pretty much who i want to be. yes i'm a bitch sometimes and yes i complain about my looks or my clothes or whatever else i feel like complaining about today. in my heart of hearts though i'm happy.
and you know what? just saying it makes me happier